Heartbeat
by Rakka Ravi
Summary: Zelos questions his decisions and his feelings whether to betray Lloyd and run away or to stay loyal to him. (Zelos x Lloyd, small Genis x Lloyd for humor)


**Title:** Heartbeat

**Series:** Tales of Symphonia for Gamecube

**Date written: **August.7.2004

**Warnings: **Although it was shown in a vague sense, there are heavy implications of light shounen-ai (male/male romantic love) between Zelos and Lloyd. You just have to read between the lines.

**Notes:** The fanfic is based on one of the special land skits. To find it yourself, it's located eastward of the Ice Temple in the Flanoir continent. Sadly my memory of the entire skit is dim…

I make Zelos pretty OOC but hopefully it wasn't painfully bad as it seem. Also there are some small spoilers…

**Pairing:** Zelos/Lloyd (with a tiny Lloyd/Genis just for humor.)

**By:** Rakka Ravi

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The night sky above the continent of Flanoir is dark and the stars and the waxing moon are obscured by the thick clouds. Small snowflakes fall silently with the gentle sweeps of the cold breeze. In the middle of the only frozen continent in Tethe'alla, Lloyd and his friends were making camp for the night before they were heading off towards to the Ice Temple to awaken the summon spirit of Ice, Celsius. To keep everyone warm, a large campfire was lit. Wood was scarce in this region but luckily they forage some firewood beforehand from the plentiful forests from the warmer continents in the southern hemisphere of Tethe'alla.

Everyone was sleeping soundly and Zelos was chosen to take over the night watch and be on guard for any signs of dangers like natural wild monsters or worse, the pope's loyal papal knights, ever in pursuit and scouring the land to search for their trail to capture Colette. Not that he was chosen by choice, the concept of staying up all night and not having any beauty sleep is undesirable to him. He was chosen because he lost the straw game and ended up having the shortest straw.

_What rotten luck_. He grumbled with irritation and slight cynicism. _I wondered what time it is, must be well over __midnight__ already. Somehow I think the straw game has been rigged…why does everyone likes to pick on me, it's not fair._ He then resorts to a childish sullen.

Zelos watched the snow flakes fall to past the time of the dark morning. Any small, fragile and delicate snowflakes that have fallen on his face or on his hands were quickly melted by his warm blood or rather elven blood. He is human but when he was a child, he was injected with high doses of elven blood to increase his capacity to use and perform magic as a part of his role as the Chosen of Mana. The vastness of the frozen desert of snow that is laid everywhere before him and behind reminds him of his childhood and the happy yet brief times he spent with his younger sister Seles and his mother...but then it switched back to the fateful day his mother has been wrongfully murdered by the wretched and hated half-elves...and there's red drenched snow everywhere and her blood spattered all over his face and stained his clothes in a grotesque dark crimson color...

_Damn it! I hate being the __Chosen__ of Mana. Because of this wretched title, my mother sacrifices her life for it. Damn half-elves. What's worse is that half of my blood is not mine; the blood belongs to the pure-bred of their kind. Half-elves or pure-bred elves, it doesn't matter to me, they're just elves._

He glances at Genis and Raine. _But then again not all elves are the same…_He then grimaced._ Even if Mithos promised to release me from my fate, he couldn't change the sufferings of my past and—_

"You seem to be brooding." Said Lloyd out of the blue.

Surprised, seeing that Lloyd is awake instead of sleeping like the others, "Huh, what did you mean?"

"It's very unlike you to brood in pensiveness."

"Er…how did you…?" He can't believe his defenses were down at the moment. What's more is that Lloyd is smart enough to use the word pensiveness. Most of the time, Zelos underestimated his abilities.

"Well I was watching you for a moment and you seem to be lost in thought. It seems that your thoughts are upsetting you."

Zelos was surprised. "Are you worried about me?"

"Of course I'm worried about you. I'm worried about everyone. You're all my friends."

He tilted his head curiously. "Hmm, so you considered me as a friend Lloyd?"

"Well sure, you did try to help Colette to save her from Angel Toxicosis sickness."

Zelos smirks. "You're so trusting Lloyd."

"Anyways," Lloyd is still prodding. "What are you thinking about?"

There's a small twitch tug at his left brow. Whenever that happens, it's usually a sign of an omen. "And you're nosy too."

"Thinking about girls again?" Lloyd pouts and guessed.

"Well you could say that…" It's a little white lie.

"Why you like girls a lot?"

"Simple, a girl needs to be cherished, especially if they good at heart. Beautiful girls with beautiful hearts are so rare to find."

Lloyd blinks.

"What?" Zelos said with suspicion.

He grins. "Heh, it's rare to catch you saying anything smart."

"Haha, very funny." Zelos responded with sarcasm and indignation. "Why don't you go back to sleep?"

"I can't sleep. I'm very excited to see the summon spirit of ice tomorrow."

"Or rather watch Sheena makes a pact with it."

"That's right. It's so cool whenever she creates a new pact with a summon spirit because none of us can. Only she is the one."

"Well I believe she could do it successfully because she has our help."

"Yeah…" He yawns and shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah. Another reason why I can't sleep is because I am freezing my butt off! Everybody took all the blankets already and there isn't enough for all of us."

"Why there are no more blankets?"

"We couldn't afford any more!" Lloyd laughs. "All the gald we have left were spent on new weapons remember?"

Zelos chuckled and smiled. "I asked the girls if they don't mind sharing their blankets with me but they told me to bug off."

"Well knowing you, it's no wonder why."

Zelos grins idiotically and joked. "It can't be helped though, I'm very well-loved."

"Yeah right."

There's was a small moment of silence and then Zelos said with a serious concern, "Lloyd you have to get some sleep. You need your strength to help Sheena tomorrow. She needs you for help and protection, you know," But then with a humorous tone, "and that's makes me a very jealous man."

"But I can't sleep." Lloyd murmured sleepily. "I'm too cold."

"I'm cold too." Zelos retorts. "Why don't you get closer to the fire?"

"It's not warm enough." Lloyd whines.

"Aw geez…" Zelos said in disbelief and sweat drops. He came up with an idea but he has to make sure that everybody is soundly asleep so nobody would watch them and they all are. So far it's good. "Look, Lloyd, I had an idea." He said thoughtfully and his cheeks suddenly gave off a small reddish hue. "Why don't you come up next to me for body heat?"

"Really? That's a good idea!"

They moved a little closer without getting up by sliding across the snow until the sides of their arms are touched.

"Feeling any warmer?"

"Yeah…"

At first Lloyd felt cold on his bare arm but gradually he feels some warmth that was emitting from Zelos (elven) blood and slowly the warmth make him feel drowsier and more sluggish until finally he fell asleep as he leans onto Zelos's left arm.

"Aw man…" Zelos mumbled as he could feel the weight of Lloyd bearing on him. The red-haired Chosen had some unsettling thoughts about his team leader. "Can't believe I'm the one who suggested this…"

But he smiled nonetheless. He doesn't like to get close to males; they make him feel so…so…so icky. Yeah icky is the right word for it. Unlike hanging around with beautiful hunnies, he has nothing in common with guys because they're so dimwitted and uninteresting. Lloyd is an exception though. He always jokes that he was a boring guy but in truth Lloyd wasn't. Perhaps Lloyd is the first and only guy he ever likes and is worthy of his respect. Come to think of it, Zelos is now aware that he becomes more fond and attached to Lloyd. He blushed at the realization and yet he smiled.

_Poor Lloyd…he's so naïve and believing that he even relied on me to protect him and his friends…sooner or later…no sooner than he thinks, I'm going to betray him in the end. The ways of Fate is so funny at times no matter how tragic it is…_

An hour has passed and soon the muscles on Zelos's arm grew tired and uncomfortable from supporting Lloyd's weight. To relieve the soreness that stems from the pressure of his waist sides, he gingerly moved Lloyd and let him sleep on his lap.

Lloyd stirred and makes a small noise. _Aw crap, I hope I don't wake him._ But then he was reassured when Lloyd resumed snoring softly and even curled up with his back against Zelos belly.

Then another thought. _Damn it, he's stupid and gullible too! He didn't even make a protest…He doesn't feel any embarrassment at all…maybe…maybe I'm one who feels more embarrassed because…because I'm not gay and I'm straight._

He frowns and makes a self-disdainful face. _Where the **HELL** did that came from?! _He sighed. _Maybe I lacked sleep that's all._

The snow stops and the dark skies are clearing. Zelos stared off into space and finally saw a few tiny stars that hung far at the distance. It's probably 2 or 3 AM by now. Lloyd was breathing slowly in and out. Zelos contemplates the inhale and exhale of Lloyd's breathing with a strong yet strange fascination. He mumbled something from his unconscious. It was vague but Zelos can comprehend it clearly. He is pretty sure that he heard Lloyd said, "No, I won't let you die…"

_No, I'm lying to myself._ He laid a hand on Lloyd's chest right above his heart. He could feel the strong, continuous pulse of his heartbeat._ I like Lloyd not because he's good looking but because he has a good heart and he's so kind to me. Why he trusted me, I may never understand…but if I ever told him that I'm so sick and tired of living my existence because my life as a Chosen is a total hypocrisy… that I even wanted to die…he won't let me die. He won't let me die in despair because he believes in me as a good and trusting friend. His simpleton stupidity…makes him really cool._

Zelos yawns tiredly. He's getting sleepy himself._ Maybe he'll figure out a way for me and Seles live happier ever after. He has a vision of a happier world that would be united as one…I would like to live in that world. Maybe in that world Seles won't hate me as the __Chosen__ of Mana anymore but she'll like me as an older brother that she once missed so long ago…_

His body faltered and swayed from side to side. He can't fight his weary fatigue and sleepiness anymore. His eyelids closed and he fell backward. His mind is black and his eyes are closed as he started to fall sleep as his stamina shuts-down.

_Maybe I won't betray him after all…_He could still feel Lloyd's head sleeping on his left thigh and he wished he could moved it to another spot but his arm is sleeping as well.

_I won't run away then…_

But in the end he doesn't mind anyway and has pleasant dreams of being surround in a company of beautiful girls, girls, girls, but then in end, he is with Lloyd as his loyal companion and best friend. He also lives in a modest house with a happy Seles, free from the confinement of the horrid abbey prison.

He himself is also free and unbounded from the title and the role as the Chosen of Mana…

All because he believes in Lloyd's dream…

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The next morning at 8AM, the first people to wake up are the ones that slept early and well last night. The first person to be awakened is Raine, out of her habit as a teacher to rise before her students. Next she wakes up Genis since her younger brother is her first student. Genis with a yawn rubs his eyes and when he rises up to stand on his feet, he starts searching for utensils and ingredients to cook for breakfast.

But before that he looks for his friend Lloyd and he make a small gasp when he noticed that his best friend is in a strange and awkward position.

"Raine look at this!"

"What is it?" She too looked. "Oh I see."

Lloyd was sleeping on the top of Zelos's stomach while Zelos was sleeping on his back. The red-haired chosen is obnoxiously snoring loudly with his mouth wide open. A tiny stream of drool trickled down his chin.

"How in the world they end up like that?" Genis scratched his head with an expression of small disgust on his face.

"Well Zelos was chosen to keep watch for us for the night." Raine said wisely. "Lloyd's probably couldn't sleep because he's overexcited about Sheena's obligation to the summon spirits today."

"So they kept each other for company!" Concluded Genis with envy and pouts.

"Isn't that cute? Friendship like that should be built on trust on one another. It's a good sign and we need more allies than enemies to help us in our journey."

"I guess so." Genis mumbled.

"Let's not wake them. They were tired from protecting us all night."

"When I cook breakfast, they won't sleep for any longer; their hungry stomachs will wake them up." Genis smirks. Raine just smiled and tussled his hair playfully with affection and went to awake the others.

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**Finished**

**Afterword**

Like Zelos said whenever he acquired a new technique, "_Booyah! Damn! I'm must be a genius!"_ Sorry I can't help myself. Zelos's bright personality is rubbing onto me.

Okay so I lied that there are some small spoilers. Heh. It took me a while to finish this story and I was hesitant into uploading it. Seems like my patience pays off, no? I do hope everyone likes it even though Zelos is out of character. I had a hard time working on the "_dark_" side of his personality because he's so fickle and the way he deals with his angst are very immature even though he is a full grown adult.

I'm saying he's immature in dealing with his problems because in the game, he tries to run away instead of solving them. If anyone chooses the Kratos ending, then you know that he accomplished that by letting himself be killed by Lloyd in the Tower of Salvation (but he doesn't go down so easily, he's a very worthy boss) and I think that Lloyd is the only person who is capable to give Zelos the absolution he sorely deserves without unnecessary killing him. Or maybe even Sheena but then she is too busying scolding him harshly but then Zelos/Sheena fans would have said things differently. Hey nothing against Sheena here, I think she's cool!

But then again, like Sheena said shortly after he died, Zelos is a damned idiot…

In this story, I try to make Zelos capable of using his common sense while letting his values affect his judgment despite how he was uncertain and apprehensive about his fate and how his destiny will end.

I do hope you readers enjoy this story even though I'm bit embarrassed when they say they do. This fic makes me happy because it was of good length. If you notice any grammars mistakes or anything similar, please feel free to point them out, I'll appreciate it. I don't bite even if you tear this fic apart!

This is story is a part of my little Zelos shrine; you can find the URL in my profile. Two fics down, only twenty eight more to go…


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